Hostility Between Women
When people remember the story of Sarah they never remember any bitterness. If Sarah was never bitter, she was far more virtuous than most of the women married to men-who-obey-God today.
She had so much to be bitter about, Abram sold her twice, to save his life from foreign kings, but risked his life to save his nephew. Abram gave the choice of pasture land to his nephew who hadn’t received a call from God, meaning that Sarai’s husband wasn’t as rich as he could have been if he had, instead, compelled Lot to graze his herds where Abraham dictated. Most of all where was Sarah when her husband and son set out carrying wood for a sacrifice without an animal to offer? Was this act so secret that she didn’t know? Although they returned praising God for his great intervention, what were her feelings when she learned? What does it cost a woman to be married to a man-who-obeys God?
When people in the Church preach about the Hagar and Sarai, they are usually most careful to point out that having a child by another woman with your wife’s consent was both moral and legal at that time and place. What they never stop to ask is what did it cost Sarai, to consent to another woman being in her husband’s bed? When Sarai complained to her husband that it was ‘all his fault’ why are there no recorded words of thanks and encouragement? At a time when a woman’s chief value was her ability to bear children it became obvious to all the herders and staff that Sarai was the infertile partner in the marriage. For all these things Sarai deserved at least the grateful thanks of her servant and husband, instead; the servant despised her, and her husband told her to do what ever she pleased.
The servant girl did not have the sense to remain outwardly humble and grateful, instead she despised Sarai, who in turn despised her. Sarai treated this poor pregnant girl so harshly that she ran away. The self-righteous amongst us (and I must admit there are a lot of us in church, because we concentrate more on how good we should be than on how good God is.) would find it hard to have sympathy for the servant, but God does not find it hard. The angel of the Lord came searching for the scornful servant and gave to her the promise similar to the one he gave Abram: ‘I will greatly multiply thy descendants so that the multitude of them cannot be numbered. The servant obeyed the instruction to return home and submit to her mistress and came back to Abraham the father of her child, and Sarah who had mis-treated her.
After the maid's return, how did Sarai feel? She lived childless in the same household as Abram and Hagar who had both received the promise of a multitude of descendants. Did she ever feel over-looked by God? Did she ever despise herself for her inadequacy? Did she weep at night because of the seeming injustice of her situation? Other people besides Sarah have felt this way; they struggle against misfortune, struggle with personal inadequacies, and feel that there is no justice in life. Sarah’s story has a happy ending; but Sarah had a long wait before her prayers were answered. The waiting time is long and hard for to-days multitude of discouraged, disheartened people. Believing against evidence to the contrary is not easy.
For Hagar, the woman who was so badly treated that she ran away even whilst she was pregnant, there was an angel. The angel ‘found’ her and asked her questions, then gave her a promise. For both the Sarahs’ and the Hagars’ of today there is an angel who seeks the people that other people have forgotten about. That angel is the Spirit of God’s presence among humans, that Spirit brings instructions, and promises. God’s Spirit supports those who have no other support, and those who have much support. It is all the same to God because we all shall be blessed and richly blessed, and we all shall be made a blessing.
She had so much to be bitter about, Abram sold her twice, to save his life from foreign kings, but risked his life to save his nephew. Abram gave the choice of pasture land to his nephew who hadn’t received a call from God, meaning that Sarai’s husband wasn’t as rich as he could have been if he had, instead, compelled Lot to graze his herds where Abraham dictated. Most of all where was Sarah when her husband and son set out carrying wood for a sacrifice without an animal to offer? Was this act so secret that she didn’t know? Although they returned praising God for his great intervention, what were her feelings when she learned? What does it cost a woman to be married to a man-who-obeys God?
When people in the Church preach about the Hagar and Sarai, they are usually most careful to point out that having a child by another woman with your wife’s consent was both moral and legal at that time and place. What they never stop to ask is what did it cost Sarai, to consent to another woman being in her husband’s bed? When Sarai complained to her husband that it was ‘all his fault’ why are there no recorded words of thanks and encouragement? At a time when a woman’s chief value was her ability to bear children it became obvious to all the herders and staff that Sarai was the infertile partner in the marriage. For all these things Sarai deserved at least the grateful thanks of her servant and husband, instead; the servant despised her, and her husband told her to do what ever she pleased.
The servant girl did not have the sense to remain outwardly humble and grateful, instead she despised Sarai, who in turn despised her. Sarai treated this poor pregnant girl so harshly that she ran away. The self-righteous amongst us (and I must admit there are a lot of us in church, because we concentrate more on how good we should be than on how good God is.) would find it hard to have sympathy for the servant, but God does not find it hard. The angel of the Lord came searching for the scornful servant and gave to her the promise similar to the one he gave Abram: ‘I will greatly multiply thy descendants so that the multitude of them cannot be numbered. The servant obeyed the instruction to return home and submit to her mistress and came back to Abraham the father of her child, and Sarah who had mis-treated her.
After the maid's return, how did Sarai feel? She lived childless in the same household as Abram and Hagar who had both received the promise of a multitude of descendants. Did she ever feel over-looked by God? Did she ever despise herself for her inadequacy? Did she weep at night because of the seeming injustice of her situation? Other people besides Sarah have felt this way; they struggle against misfortune, struggle with personal inadequacies, and feel that there is no justice in life. Sarah’s story has a happy ending; but Sarah had a long wait before her prayers were answered. The waiting time is long and hard for to-days multitude of discouraged, disheartened people. Believing against evidence to the contrary is not easy.
For Hagar, the woman who was so badly treated that she ran away even whilst she was pregnant, there was an angel. The angel ‘found’ her and asked her questions, then gave her a promise. For both the Sarahs’ and the Hagars’ of today there is an angel who seeks the people that other people have forgotten about. That angel is the Spirit of God’s presence among humans, that Spirit brings instructions, and promises. God’s Spirit supports those who have no other support, and those who have much support. It is all the same to God because we all shall be blessed and richly blessed, and we all shall be made a blessing.
posted by Jessie Coates at 3:37 PM
1 Comments:
Dear Rev. Coates,
I wonder if the Hagar and Sarah story has something to say about conflict between members of the church family?
I have the sense that often when we mess up, in truth we've really done just about as good as we good do. The need is for God to stretch the spectrum, to expand the "possibility" end of what we've got inside us. Maybe change our heart so we aren't simply acting with patience or kindness, but we ARE patient and we ARE kind.
Sarah and Hagar make me wonder could if I would have been able to do any better.
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